Agnosticism	
	Farts happen.
Atheism	
	I don't believe this shit.
Buddhism
	Shit happens.
Catholicism	
	Shit happens because you deserve it.
Catholicism 2
	You were born shit, you are shit and you'll die shit.
Christian Science	
	Shit happens in your mind.
Confucianism	
	Confucius, he say, 'Shit happens'.
Dadaism	
	Blue shit rumage Idaho potato.
Existentialism	
	Shit is therefore it happens.
Feminism	
	Men are shit.
Hare Krishna		
	Shit happens shit happens 
	Happens happens
	Shit shit 
	Shit happens shit happens
Hedonism	
	There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Hinduism
	This shit happened before.
Islam	
	If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Jehova's Witness	
	Let us in and we'll tell you all about this shit.
Judaism	
	Why does this shit always happen to us?
Moonie
	Only happy shit happens.
Nihilism
	Everything is shit.
Objectivism	
	Shit=Shit
Protestantism	
	Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Quakerism	

Rastafarianism	
	Let's smoke this shit.
Satanism
	Sneppah tihs
Scientology	
	Faeces occurs.
Spoonerism	
	Hit shappens.
Taoism	
	The shit that happens is not the true shit.
Zen
	What is the sound of shit happening?
7th Day Adventists
	No shit on Saturdays.